The 9 Lives of Rachel Jitsawat

The 9 Lives of Rachel Jitsawat

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The 9 Lives of Rachel Jitsawat
The 9 Lives of Rachel Jitsawat
☯️ The Yin: Until You Don't See It Coming

☯️ The Yin: Until You Don't See It Coming

💔 Conner, Part 6

Aug 14, 2025
∙ Paid
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The 9 Lives of Rachel Jitsawat
The 9 Lives of Rachel Jitsawat
☯️ The Yin: Until You Don't See It Coming
1
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AI-free image. Edited on Canva by Jitsie. Photo provided by Teen Rachel.
Missed the first parts of Conner’s story? Catch up with them below:
🤔 The Meet-Cute: How to Botch it When You Meet a Really Cute Guy

🤔 The Meet-Cute: How to Botch it When You Meet a Really Cute Guy

September 12, 2024
Read full story
🚗 The Ride: The Only Time I Was Instructed to Cry in Case the Cops Came

🚗 The Ride: The Only Time I Was Instructed to Cry in Case the Cops Came

September 19, 2024
Read full story
💫 The Chase: Searching for A Crush In A Trail of Stars

💫 The Chase: Searching for A Crush In A Trail of Stars

September 25, 2024
Read full story
😏 The Hit: Like, sometimes you're just minding your own business, and then a hot guy appears?

😏 The Hit: Like, sometimes you're just minding your own business, and then a hot guy appears?

Rachel Jitsawat
·
October 17, 2024
Read full story
🪝The Hook: The Time that Hot Guy Romantically Pushed My Hair Behind My Ear

🪝The Hook: The Time that Hot Guy Romantically Pushed My Hair Behind My Ear

October 16, 2024
Read full story

The Crush Chronicles will always be paywalled. It is a memoir of stories so personal, I must protect myself and the characters within them. Free, lengthy previews will always be provided. To finish chapters, download journal prompts, and access exclusive playlists, you may become a paid subscriber for $5 per month.


And just like that, I had a boyfriend.

I drove home with the girls that night, all of us rejoicing but completely stunned. None of us had seen that coming because of how aloof Conner always had been with me.

Lying down to sleep that night, I thought to myself over and over, “Conner is my boyfriend. Conner is my boyfriend!” because I was afraid that when I woke up in the morning, I would have discovered it was just a dream.

But it wasn’t. Conner started hanging out at my house with me in the little free time I had. Unfortunately, that was usually when my parents were home, but I was still happy to spend time with him, even if it was supervised. We would sit on my couch and watch TV together, his arm around me.

“Your parents don’t care that I’m here?” he asked one day, my mom and dad wandering in and out from the kitchen, but not interrupting us.

“No,” I told him.

Honestly, I didn’t really know. My parents had never established any rules about dating with me. It’s possible that they never thought it would happen, especially now that I was in my senior year and had never had a boyfriend for the duration of the time that I was in Texas. To them, it probably seemed as if I was too busy, what with all of my activities, but they had no understanding of how boy-crazy I was.

“They don’t care that we’re sitting here cuddling with them here?” he pressed, his arm around my waist, me leaning into his chest.

“Nope,” I said.

I mean, I assumed I was right. They hadn’t said anything yet. Although I knew my mom did not approve of Conner.

Once, before Conner and I started dating, she was with my friends and me at the mall when Erin had spotted Conner between stores, and we all had stopped to chat. For some reason, he had dyed his hair a brighter, unnatural red. I didn’t like it, and I’m not positive that he did, either.

“Who’s that?” my mom asked as he walked off.

After we explained how we knew him, my mom declared, “He looks like Bozzo the Clown.”

My friends laughed, but I was offended. I knew my mom better than they did, so I was aware that this was a dig because she knew I was into him, as if dissing him would discourage my interest.

How my mom saw Conner vs. How I saw Conner

I thought Conner resembled Brendan Fraser, an opinion with which Erin agreed.

“Who’s Brendan Fraser?” he asked when I told him this.

“The actor you look like,” I joked.

“Is that a good thing?”

“That you look like the hot guy from The Mummy? Yeah, it’s good,” I reassured him.

When my mom learned we were going out, she didn’t forbid it, but she was openly against it, continuing with comments like the Bozzo one, even when his hair was fully returned to his natural color. I loved Conner’s red hair, so I was bitter at this joke. I always defended him, then ignored my mom’s sourness towards the situation. Conner wasn’t a bad guy, and she had no good reason to dislike him.

The moments like the ones we had on the couch that day were sparing, because I had yearbook deadlines, choir performances, theatre rehearsals, and homework. There were rare moments when Conner would pick me up in his car, announcing to the neighborhood that he had arrived with his thunderous engine, and we could be alone.

There was one problem. And it was because of me.

{this chapter’s companion episode is coming next week!}

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