🥳 My First Substack Anniversary: Reflecting on How I Returned to Writing
Well, that was fast.
I’m going to be frank; I joined Substack impulsively. On a whim.
I started writing again in April of 2023. It’s very Stephanie Meyer1, but I had a dream about one of the crushes I had in high school. I cannot recall any of the details, but that day, I had to get the story out. It had been festering for years, and after I woke up that morning, it was squatting in my head like a giant toad. Like the giant toads from The Prisoner of Azkaban2. Because I would sit, bored and restless while waiting for my daughter’s 45-minute karate lessons to pass, I grabbed my iPad on our way to her next one.
She marched inside, white gi tied tight, yellow belt trailing behind her, and I flipped the screen open.
I was a dam exploded. Every week I would type and type and type, slapping the black and white keys of the iPad’s keyboard with my unmanicured fingertips.
The time to write started leaking outside of karate time. I would sneak sessions at home between chores (or skip the chores altogether—because I’m human), clack clack clacking on my mechanical keyboard, each punch of a giant key extremely satisfying. I would edit on my phone as I lay in bed, ignoring the sting of drowsiness in my eyes.
Then, I discovered that I could submit writing samples in hopes of landing a publication3.
*submit submit submit*
Writing then began with a dedicated monthly time, with a writer I had befriended at WonderCon, to keep me accountable.
As we became more comfortable with each other, our appointments moved from once per month to once per week.
Then, it came. You know, it. If you’re a woman, you’re well acquainted.
Guilt.
It rose like a monster out of the shadows.
I was spending so much time writing, but what about the toppling piles of laundry at home?
I was going to coffee shops each week, but what about that clutter waiting patiently in the hallway to be given new life with a donation to Goodwill?
What about the fact that I have been a stay-at-home mom for twelve years, and have generated little income in that time?
“Maybe you can find a way to sell your writing.”
I was chatting with a long-distance friend, sharing with her my rediscovered love. And guilt.
“Maybe you can write something, and then, I don’t know…charge for the next part. I don’t know how it would work, but that would be cool.” She adjusted her glasses and tightened the ponytail in her silky, raven-black hair. I thought.
I thought and thought, and then thought I should google it. All I knew about getting paid for writing was writing a book or being a journalist. Or blogging. I hadn’t written anything since college; maybe there was something I didn’t know.
I went down the rabbit hole. Munched some snacks. Sipped coffee.
Then came across this article, which introduced me to new ideas about publishing, and informed me about Substack.
User-friendly platform.
Good.
Great for writers.
Oh, that’s good.
Free to use.
PERFECT.
And you can add a paywall.
Well, there it is. Exactly what she was talking about.
I signed up but did not post right away. I needed to figure out what I was going to write. How I was going to charge for it. What my posting schedule would be.
Then I must’ve said Screw it, and then just posted.
I didn’t do any sort of launch. I couldn’t really spread the word because I had been off of social media for years. I had no desire to go back.
However, I knew that it would be unrealistic to try to promote my work devoid of a social media platform. I returned to Instagram and began to build.
At first, I began to write this piece you’re reading now from a place of shame. After one year, I have only accumulated ten subscribers. All free. None paid. I know 8/10 of them personally.
I reframed. I deleted my first draft. I was not going to look at this lackingly because I have done a lot of hard work—a lot of hard work while also being a full-time mom4. It may not be the best writing in the world, but I did it. I wrote and wrote and wrote. I edited, generated images, created Instagram content, scheduled that content to post while I was out running around and dealing with my domestic life… I did it.
I didn’t only accumulate ten subscribers, I gained ten subscribers. I gained followers, too, which took me a while to figure out the difference between a follower and a subscriber, but I thought that was great!
I may not have the hang of this—the writing and promoting and getting eyes on my work, but I’m not giving up. Even though the monster of guilt will forever follow me around as I try to fit time in for something I am passionate about, I must continue to feed my giant toad of inspiration.
And to my ten subscribers, I am so incredibly grateful for you. Thank you for supporting me, even when you have your own work, domestic duties, and guilt monsters following you around. You rock.
Cheers to this one year anniversary!5 🥂
Coming Soon
I am working on a brand-new podcast! The Crush Chronicles podcast is underway. Interviews are being conducted, recordings are being edited, I need to design new cover art…all those good things!
I’ll share the link once I have the trailer up and running, so keep your eyes peeled! 👀
I’m doing all this work for free, but if you would like to contribute to my success, please consider buying me a coffee.
#transrights #transwomenarewomen
I think all mothers should notate this. If you have a full-time job outside of the home AND are the parent that carries the mental load for your household, as well as executing all the tasks: you have two full-time jobs. One just doesn’t compensate you monetarily.
The actual one year mark is October 8th.